Nathan_Lewis's Xanga

Thailand

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:29:20 GMT

Due to the lack of many readers here on Xanga, I don't really plan to blog very often. I'll just use this to share stuff every now and then. Like, I'm going to Thailand tomorrow and I'll be there for two weeks. I'll post about how it went when I get back.

Overwhelming Contentment

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 05:15:37 GMT

To accept and embrace this painful, imperfect life, world, and existence as better than a bland universe without pain and imperfection, is one way to become happy. In fact, one does not even need to believe it is better, but to merely accept that there is pain and imperfection can make a human overwhelmingly content to be in this world.

Of course, that is unhealthy as it is going too far. A person can become apathetic due to overwhelming contentment. If someone chooses to see evil and pain as something like the dissonance in a symphony, a necessity making the whole more beautiful by contrast, the will to oppose these evils may dissipate completely.

You see, overwhelming contentment is perhaps one of my biggest obstacles in trying to help the world. I have gone too far to the extreme of contentment and acceptance of the way things are that I've become too apathetic to care about all the stuff going wrong. I see it merely as passing dissonance in an epic song of triumph. I almost want it to linger longer.

But there is also the side of me that wants to go out and change all this. Deep, somewhere within me, is this undeniable impulse to set things straight. As an ease-governed mortal, is it easier for me to give in to this impulse, and combat the wrongs of this world, or to deny that desire buried within me? The fact that it bothers me enough to rant about it here is a good sign of the former case.

A Spark

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 07:11:56 GMT

"Is there a name for the disorder where you like to quote yourself anonymously?"
-Anonymous

Not that it's technically a disorder, but this - anonymous - person thought it sounded better that way.

But seriously, I've seen this a few times.

Head Count

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 06:57:17 GMT

So, I've decided to start blogging again, but I do not know how many people still read my blog here! So, if you do read my blog here, please respond or email me (midgetsow@hotmail.com) or something so that I know.

Here is a quick rundown of what has happened in my life since I last posted here:

I went to Japan last summer. It was great, I really love the country. The only regret I have in my life is that I was not born Japanese. Nah, I'm just kidding, mostly. I stayed with a really nice family there, and I just sort of got a feel for everything to make sure I wasn't too hasty in making my decision to spend a good portion of my life working there.

More importantly, I've grown and matured a lot, but I do have a lot more to go. (Don't we all, always have a lot more maturing to go? Yes, no?) I've been wasting way too much time these days. I figure I'm better off blogging than playing more Defense of the Ancients (Aka DotA) or watching absurd amounts of anime. I want to do great things with my life, what am I doing wasting all that time!?!? It's time to get your act together, Nathan!

I am going to California State University Northridge now, as a linguistics major minoring in TESOL. I can hardly believe my GPA considering how little studying I do. I plan to possibly go on straight into a M.A. in TESOL after graduating, I'm not sure yet, but I want to get one as soon as possible if I enjoy teaching English.

I guess my current position on relationships is something like this: Since I want to spend my life doing amazing things all over the world, I realized I will probably eventually run into a woman who can work with that, or I won't. There are advantages to each.

I have more to say, but I suppose this is enough for now.

Upd8?

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:21:15 GMT

Life is going well for me. I'm leaving for Japan in two weeks to stay with a family there for two weeks. I'm extremely excited. If all goes well, I'll be done with college two years from now, and I'll be getting a job teaching English in Japan. So, that's the concise update of what is going on in my life.

How?

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:21:50 GMT

So basically, I guess I've made myself into something that I don't reveal to others, or even to myself. Thus, when I'm with friends, I find that it's not me who's there and so of course I'd be lonely. I like things this way. What I was has been lost and now I am a mixture of everything I know. It's like being a community of people myself.

Hmm... I think I think so much that I can't sleep, and having fun never interested me anyway.

Problem(s) solved.

An Corp ... fizzle

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:09:54 GMT

Props to those who get the title of this blog.

I've been so confused about the path my life is taking the past few months. I hate how school makes me feel like I'm being forced to learn. What's worst is that I'm being forced to learn what I don't want to know rather than willingly learning what I do. I feel exhausted when the semester has just started and I know I could make it through this semester fairly easily. I wonder if it's school that I'm really exhausted of. Maybe I'm exhausted of something else.

Somehow, I feel lonely when I'm surrounded by friends. I'm tired, but I can't fall asleep. Having fun makes me more bored. At least I don't feel hungry after I eat, I guess.

Mankind

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 06:59:49 GMT

I really don't know which is more amazing to me: the intelligence of mankind, or its stupidity.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 05:39:20 GMT

There is no limit to how much good one person can do. There is, however, a limit to how much evil.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 05:08:46 GMT

If I did not sin, I would not know I have a soul.